Sunday, May 20, 2007

Malaysian Cows, Politics and Government: Democracy, Bolehland Style

Due to boredom over repeating racist rhetorics from our government, some users posted some funny comments in the article 'The classic divide-and-rule strategy' in Malaysia Today

Let's take a look and enjoy.

nasigoreng wrote:
Cows & Politics Explained

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

DEMOCRACY, MALAYSIAN STYLE: You have no cows, but the government has two. The Cabinet has a meeting as what to do with the cows. After a lengthy debate, it was agreed that the two cows be given to your poor neighbors on a pawah system. Before the meeting ended, the Pak Lah reminded Muhyiddin the Agro-Industry Minister to make sure that the cows have their rumps (buttocks) branded with ‘UNDILAH BN’ and ‘SATU LAGI PROJEK BN’.
18/05 20:23:48


shiver wrote:
nasi goreng, to add to your cow & politics explained for malaysia.

DEMOCRACY, MALAYSIAN STYLE: The two cows was with one race, then they were forced to give one cow away for many years, and now they realized that the first cow wasnt productive so they plan to hold the cow longer while demanding for the 2nd cow. Parliament discuss in length what to do with the cows so that the cow's milk can be protected. However, the cow's milk price has gone down but the Govt has not said anything about the price of milk and have kept quiet on that. And then when there is a by-election, one of the cows is promised to the people with the promise of free milk.

Finally, now that the two cows are nearing the age of dying, they looked for more cows overseas to joint venture with them.

---50 tahun, dah cukup lama la tu...---
18/05 21:36:46


Sagaladoola (that's me) wrote:
Hahaha ... I have to add too...

Got two cows. One cow government say must reserve for one special group. One cow government say reserve for a non-special group.

One cow, government say all the free milk will give to the poor. End up, out of 100% milk only 5% go to the poor. Where did the rest of the 95% go? No one knows.

Someone from government come out and pull the bull around. Bull starting to shit. So smelly. Then force this 'special' cow to perform, have to come out 110% milk. Found out 'special' cow guardian is special friend of the government. Very 'healthy' fat guy but dunno how to take care of 'cow' (inefficiency).

People make noise. Government say OK OK, Semuanya OK. Take the other 'non-special' cow (for another non-special group), Perah sama dia cukup-cukup. Perah, perah, perah, milk until this non-special cow half-dead to get 110% milk. The 'non-special' group get only 10%, the rest of the milk go back to the Government.

But then, at the end the poor and non-special people still dun have enough milk. Government blame non-special group for not sharing milk.

Where did the 'non-special' group's milk go? Where did the milk for the cow go? No one knows. The one who knows may have to answer to Jesus's Malay name: I.S.A. The milk is not there, but the bull is there, shit some more. What is the shit of a bull called? Bullshit. Hehehe.

So, everyone fight lohh.... but who is rich? Siapa yang kaya? Hidup dalam Istana dengan jual satay saja? Who is sleeping, but can possess stables of cars and rows of international houses?

The poor becomes the peasants and non-special group becomes pariahs. They can keep on fighting until cows come home while the Fat Lady and friends stay rich "dahulu, kini dan selamanya" (past, now and forever and ever), "dulu, sekarang dan masa depan" (past, present and future).

19/05 18:46:48



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