Barisan Somua Naik Election Discussion

This is a piece of good news for Malaysians :
Malaysiakini goes free for one week (Mar 4, 08 2:02pm)
updated 9.20pm In view that the country is going to the polls on Saturday, Malaysiakini has decided to make its website free beginning today for the next seven days.MORE
-> Reaching out to all
-> Growth in readership

Meanwhile, let's enjoy something I found in my e-mail this morning.....

Once upon a time, in a faraway nation called Bolehsial, various organisational leaders of Barisan Somua Naik discuss the up and coming election.

Bapak Tidor: This is the last meeting we are going to have before I make my decision on who our candidates are. First of all, I would like to thank KY-Cream Air Liur of Parti Gelak or voluntarily backing out. You are truly gentlemen. Anyone else wants to back out? Think of the party, not of yourself.

C4-Jeep: I think Semmi Value should back out la.

Semmi Value: Apa Pasai? Why you think I should back out? Why not you?

C4-Jeep: You are a liability to Parti YindYind and Barisan Somua Naik la Semmi Value, accept it la.

Semmi Value: What do you mean liability? Give me proof?

Krissham: Ayo Semmi Value, our intelligence report say, we will lose almost 100% of YindYind votes if you still lead Parti YindYind. If you get lost, maybe we can bring it down to 60%.

Semmi Value: Bapak Tidor, don't listen to this two young punks la. Let me read this report just sent to me. After extensive intelligence gathering, we find that 20% of the YindYinds hated Semmi Value. Ha, only 20% la, where got 100%?

BodoBodoBodo: Hey Semmi Value I also got the same report la. Why don't you continue?

Semmi Value: Okay, I'll continue, 40% cannot stand to see his face and 35% will kill him if they were to meet him. 5% believe that he is a good leader. Ha, I still got 5% what?

Bapak Tidor: Come on la Semmi Value, you've been around for a long time already; you have made your money. You are even richer than me, so back out la. Think of the party la Semmi Value.

Semmi Value: Yes, I am richer than you but C4-Jeep, 2 deals only is already richer than me, why not ask him also to go? His submarine and Sohai, I mean Sohoi. Anunya also make him a liability what.

C4-Jeep: It looks like me, it sounds like me but it is not me. Kau diam, Semmi !

Bapak Tidor: I know that one, but he is from Parti MakNor, that is the difference. The Merr-yus will accept corrupt Merr-yu leaders, as long as they potong, its okay.

Semmi Value: Oh, kalu chunik potong kalu, berapa banyak rasuah pun takpa ka? Mana adil ini macam Bapak Tidor?

C4-Jeep: That is the way it is in this country Semmi Value. We all from Parti MakNor got immunity, you people, tadak potong punya, don't.

Semmi Value: No, saya akan tetap bertanding.

K-Vee: Adei Semmi Value, listen to them la, what they say is true la. Don't talk about justice all la, as if you are concerned about justice. This is not the place to be talking about justice la old man. We want to win. If that means you will be dropped then so be it.

Semmi Value: Dei K-Vee, ass, you just shut up la. You budak lagi la, you apa tau? What you want to be champions of the YindYinds ka? If I am forced to back out, I make sure you go down with me. Hey, Mahatin also cannot force me out la.

K-Vee: Tengok Bapak Tidor, tadak guna punya YindYind. Think of himself only. Just shoot him la Bapak Tidor, don't give chance. C4-Jeep, itu C4 lagi ada ka? Mari kita sekarang taroh itu C4 sama dia. Cilakak punya orang.

Krissham: Yes, Yes, Yes. Correct, correct, correct...

KY-Cream Air Liur: Semmi Value ah, enough la. So long already you in the cabinet. You want to stay until you die ka? What you think they will bury you in the Makam Pahlawan ka? Every time people curse you la. Now even your own race cannot stand you, give up la Semmi Value. Come join me la. We all retire. After all, we are not sure if we are going to win this time around. Barisan Somua Naik also not sure going to win or not.

Bapak Tidor: What are you talking about Ky-Cream? Why you say like that? Lu jaga lu punya mulut ah Apek.

KY-Cream Air Liur: No la Bapak Tidor, If everyone wants to deny us 2/3 majority, then all of them would not vote us la. We may lose more than just 1/3 la. Haiya, that one also cannot see ah?

Bapak Tidor: Maybe the Zhina or YindYinds la KY-Cream, not the Merr-yus la. The Merr-yus love Parti MakNor.

KY-Cream Air Liur: Are you sure ah Bapak Tidor? Now, even the Zhina and YindYinds are willing to vote Parti Yisleh if it is the only opposition available to them, don't you think that there would be Merr-yus willing to vote Parti Demo? Don't be foolish la Bapak Tidor. Until now still cannot get negeri Kerangdon despite all the dirty tricks. Who are majority voters in Kerangdon? Merr-yus la, some more what.

Bapak Tidor: Betoi ka dia kata tu C4-Jeep?

C4-Jeep: Jangan dengar cakap orang tua penyembur tu la Bapak Tidor. Orang Merr-yu takkan lupa Parti MakNor punya. Orang Merr-yu rela mati untuk Parti MakNor.

BodoBodoBodo: Ntah la, ada lojik jugak cakap KY-Cream tu. Memang la orang Merr-yu rela mati untuk Parti MakNor tapi rela ka dia mati untuk kita?

Bapak Tidor: Apa yang orang Merr-yu tak puaih hati lagi dengan kita? Kita bagi macam-macam kat depa, apa lagi dia mau?

Kata-noThing: Lu mau tau ka? Dia olang tengok sumua itu Parti MakNor punya olang besar manyak kaya. Bikin lumah banyak besar. Keleta 4, 5, sumua mahal-mahal punya. Dulu punya Merr-yu punya Parti MakNor punya olang tak buat itu macam. Kalau dia kaya pun, dia tak tunjuk sama olang. Sekalang punya Parti MakNor punya olang manyak sombong oh. Dia kaya, dia selalu tunjuk. Dia tak takot punya. Itu olang Merr-yu biasa tak suka la ini macam punya sombong punya olang.

BodoBodoBodo: Kata-noThing, lu pulak macam mana? Apa, salah ka dia beli rumah besar dan kereta besar? Apa orang Zihna saja ka buleh beli rumah besar. Bapak Tidor, letak Kata-noThing kat Tanjong tengok. Jom kita tengok orang Zihna suka kat dia ka tak?

KY-Cream Air Liur: Tak salah, tapi baru 2, 3 hari jadi menteri sudah kaya ka? Dia punya gaji berapa? Dulu jaga gate keretapi sekarang boleh bikin Istana, orang tak heran ka la Bapak Tidor? Your weakness ah, is that you think the Merr-yus are stupid. They are not la Bapak Tidor. Many have opened their eyes la. Many are not ignorant anymore.

Bapak Tidor: Alah, kalau kalah pun, kalah sikit saja. Close one eye lar (*Blink blink*)

KY-Cream Air Liur: Sorry ha Bapak Tidor if I say something. You have been sleeping too much, you have lost touch with reality.

Bapak Tidor: I think ah KY-Cream, you don't resign la. This year you stand in Bermatang Baoh, mau ka?

Semmi Value: Bapak Tidor, saya macam mana?

Bapak Tidor: Meeting adjourn la, semua balik dulu. Saya mengantok ni. Nanti lain kali la. zzzzz.